Rate my story (so far)?

Here is what I have so far, it is going to be a fable. Please rate 1-10 and add comments and suggestions on how to make it better and what should happen later.



In a small forest, many years ago, lived a group of squirrels preparing for winter.



“Ugg, this is torture!” complained Chestnut, the eldest of the squirrels. “Well unless you want to starve, work!” replied Hazel, lifting a large acorn. Chestnut rolled his eyes and continued looking for more nuts. “Ohh!” shrieked Pecan, the youngest of the tree. “What is it?” asked Hazel, looking over her shoulder. “Look!” cried the youth squirrel, jumping with glee at the sight.



Hazel pranced over to Pecan and gasped. “Why, look! It’s an apple, and just ripe. Why, this will be a wonderful winter.” she shrieked dreamily. Chestnut was chewing on an acorn from Hazel’s collection as this was happening. “I doubt it is an actual apple.” he sneered, laughing at the youth’s excitement.



“Chestnut!” snapped Hazel, giving him a disgusted look. “Pecan, why don’t we take this apple to the tree?” “Okay.” he replied, already scurrying off to the oak tree where they lived. Hazel turned to Chestnut and Chestnut grinned. “Can you ever not be bitter? It is his first winter and he is excited. No need to put him down.” she nagged.



Chestnut and Hazel were brother and sister and grew up together. When they were just mere pups, their mother died. They had to fend for themselves and many years after their mother’s death, they found Pecan cold and abandoned. They took Pecan home and took care of him as though their own.



“Hazy, are you coming?” called Pecan from the Oak. “Yeah, just a second.” she replied, turning back to Chestnut. “Now, come help me with this.” Commanded Hazel, pointing at the large, crimson apple. “Fine.” he said dryly.



The two rolled the apple into the tree and attempted to find a place for it.

Rate my story (so far)?
It's cute, I'd give it a 7. You might think about renaming one of the squirrels. I always find if names are too similar, like Chestnut and Pecan (both being nuts - I assume Hazel for Hazelnut) it can confuse people, especially in the beginning of a story. Maybe give one of them a nickname or something to help keep them straight.

Can't wait for the next installment!
Reply:Yes- Like one of the other readers said add a little more detail to each paragraph. Also don't skip into each paragraph so suddenly, make the story blend together. I would give it a 7-8. You can look up some tips onthe internet on how to write fables.
Reply:I would rate it an 8. you need to do some proof reading though.
Reply:um......an 8. i think you need i little more "umph" in it, you know what i mean? describe the scene a little more.

flowers baby