Underwater basket weaving masters with a penchant for Swiss cheese and roasted chestnuts only: who is God...?

...and why did It inflict mold upon my perfectly good Swiss cheese, which I was preparing to consume atop roasted chestnuts down by the fire while preparing to weave my latest array of baskets under the waters of the great swimming pool of Giza??

Underwater basket weaving masters with a penchant for Swiss cheese and roasted chestnuts only: who is God...?
You know that holey cheese shouldn't be stored in the air.



Not following Gods commands will lead to mold everytime.



I don't think you are a 'true' Underwater basket weaving master with a penchant for Swiss cheese and roasted chestnuts!!!!
Reply:because you sinned in not allowing your cheese to properly ferment and your chestnuts were not roasted at the specific temperature to make them blessed enough to eat.



shame, shame on you.
Reply:God is the überUdder, which lactates for all mankind.



Your cheese wasn't hole-y enough.
Reply:lmfao!! This place is KILLING me today-lol! In seeking to attain the highest level of spirituality possible, God strikes down your cheese on a regular basis as you get closer and closer to achieving omnipresent super-galactic oneness during the basket weaving process!!